The Ordinary Parent’s Guide to Helping a Child Thrive Spiritually, Part 2

Part 2:  Instruction

There are three different forms of instruction necessary for a body of information to be acquired by a child:  1) modeling  2) teaching 3) correcting.  When we are teaching a child to read, we model healthy reading habits by reading to them daily, taking them to the library and allowing them to observe us reading as a natural part of our day.  So it is with the spiritual development of a child.  They discern how vital a part of life something is based on the amount of importance we place on it in our own lives.  This means that if we want our children to value knowing who God is, understanding how to communicate with Him, having God’s Word as the standard for living, being equipped to use their spiritual gifts to build up Jesus’ Bride (the church) and passionate about reaching lost people and training others how to follow Jesus then we must model that as part of our life.  They must observe us being engaged in those areas of our life, otherwise what we are communicating is that their spiritual development is more of an extracurricular activity rather than a crucial part of their development as a spiritual being .

This is the modeling part of their instruction.  Showing them what a God focused life looks like.  The key to investing in our child’s spiritual development is to make following God as natural a part of their life as reading a book or brushing their teeth.  Making it a part of your daily routine, whether it be meal times or nap time or bedtime.  Modeling this habit of spiritual nourishment will help your child to thrive spiritually throughout his life.

As we are modeling, it is natural to teach.  Just as we teach them how to sound out words, the purpose of punctuation, how to hold a book, and how to use different types of books when they are learning to read we also teach our children about why and how it is necessary to develop in specific ways spiritually.  We cannot leave our children to try to figure out this spiritual journey on their own.  They cannot learn to read on their own nor can they learn to thrive spiritually on their own.  Many will be influencing your child in different ways, attempting to shape their values and determine their course.  God gave us to our children because they need our guidance.  It is our responsibility to instruct our children and to train them in how to follow God.  If you’re unsure of where to start, I recommend beginning in the Gospel of Mark.  It is short with only 16 chapters.  It is the shortest account of the life of Jesus who is an expert at teaching us how to be a follower of God, because He is God (John 1:1).

Another good resource to begin with is The Names of God by Sally Michael.  It is important to understand, however, that just as it takes several years for a child to become a good reader, we cannot expect to see the results of our spiritual investment in our children overnight.  But daily spiritual modeling and teaching will make a great impact over time.  So do not be discouraged if your child does not seem able to grasp the truths as quickly as you would like.  Just continue laying the foundation slowly but surely, just as you do with the ABC’s.

The last form of teaching is one that we struggle with even more than the first two because it involves correction.  The correction of a child is such a debated and emotionally charged subject that it is difficult to address this form of instruction.  The most important thing to understand about correction is it’s purpose.  The purpose of correction is to make it clear to the child that the choice they have made is harmful to their well-being physically, emotionally, intellectually and spiritually.  The motivation for correction should always be love.  We love our children so much that we are willing to make them uncomfortable enough to realize that they made a choice that was harmful to themselves.  Our prayer is that they recognize their need to make a different choice that will put them on a path that leads to their greatest benefit.  Correction takes many different forms.  Sometimes it may just be a verbal correction (example:  How can you say that in a kind way?).   Sometimes the correction is in the for of the removal of privileges (example:  If a child abuses a privilege, then the privilege is removed for a time).  Other times the correction takes the form of a timeout or a measured spanking.  God has entrusted us with the responsibility of correcting our children for their own benefit.

Correction is an opportunity for us to point out to our child their need for God.  We are not capable of meeting up to God’s standards, but He has made a way for us through Jesus.  Jesus took the consequences that we deserved so that that we could be forgiven for our waywardness as we put our trust in Him.  Now we have the opportunity to be clothed in the righteousness of Christ, and are free to make choices that reflect who God created us to be.  A child who does not receive daily correction will have trouble seeing that he is in need of a Savior.  He will feel entitled to whatever decision he chooses.  This inevitably leads to spiritual emptiness.

It may seem like an overwhelming task to help your child thrive spiritually, but the outcome is so rewarding.  The book of Proverbs tells us to “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from  it.”  This is a general principle that was not intended as a promise.  It is something that holds true in most situations, however.  Every child must eventually choose for himself.  As parents we have a huge role in shaping a child’s perspective on life.  The spiritual instruction we give a child will shape them to great extent.

God will give you the grace to instruct as you seek Him.  When we feel that we are lacking confidence, it is our cue to call on the Lord.  Parenting is an act of faith.  Jesus gives us all we need, and He has given us His church with godly parents who can help us along the way.  Happy parenting to you in the week ahead!