It was the last weekend in January and I was getting ready to go on the first Junior High retreat I had been on since 1997 when I taught Jr./Sr. High Spanish. To be honest, I wasn’t really sure what it would be like or how I would relate to the kids on the trip. A lot has changed since 1997. I don’t know a whole lot about popular youth culture. I felt out of touch with the circumstances that Middle Schoolers face day to day. But I packed my bags and loaded up the car with a bunch girls. We were on our way!
After about 8 hours of sleep in 2 days, 6 cafeteria style meals, copious cups of coffee, gearing up for a climbing wall, countless chasing after lost pin pong balls and lot of fun hanging out with Middle Schoolers I’ve come to the conclusion that anyone can identify with a young person traversing through early adolescence. We don’t need to worry about being hip enough or savvy enough. Here’s what I discovered:
1) Middle Schoolers like to have fun!
Who doesn’t like to have fun? Kids like to be silly and joke around. They want to laugh. If we grownups just let go of our worries and problem solving, we can be free to enjoy ourselves. Kids will want to be around us, instead of cringing as they wait for some parental venom to come sting them. Middle Schoolers can relate to us when we have fun together.
2) Almost everything Middle Schoolers are facing is new to them.
Any grownup who has been a parent can identify with the experience. What was it like when you brought your first child home from the hospital? Were you wishing the instruction manual would come with the precious tiny bundle of joy you brought home? All Middle Schoolers wish there were some instruction manual to go with there season of life too. Their bodies are changing. Their peer groups are changing. Family situations are often changing. They often feel lost and wonder how to navigate waters of this season in their life. We can identify with them by being understanding of their lack of wisdom. We can adjust our expectations to embrace “newbies”.
3) Middle Schoolers have a lot of questions.
Kids might give the impression that they know it all, but the reality is that they are scared. They may come across as disinterested in adult input, but secretly they crave to know the answers to their questions. But they are waiting for a safe place where they will not be embarrassed or belittled to share what’s on their heart. They are waiting for someone to pay attention. They are waiting for someone who will do more than give answers. They want to be heard, to be understood. It takes being a good listener.
We can be those good listeners. Our kids can identify with us when we share the questions that God has helped us to wrestle through as well, or how we sought out the advice of a godly person in our life. If we slow down, we can remember the hardships that we faced in our youth and be available to help our kids work through theirs.
4) Middle Schoolers crave compassion.
They spend a lot of time feeling lost, like sheep without a shepherd. They want someone to invite them into the fold, to care for them and lead them. Who doesn’t want others to show compassion toward them? Even adults need others to care for them. We can shepherd our children by making a point to reconnect with them often. When we take time to connect with them, we’ll know better how to pray for them and how to provide the care they need. If we allow them to disconnect from family life or mentoring relationships we abdicate our leadership role in their life. They will fill that void somewhere else, however. We can provide the compassion they need by taking time to lead them, no matter how resistant or disinterested they appear to be.
5) Middle Schoolers are looking for available people.
When studies are conducted on individuals who get involved in occult groups, drug abuse or gangs the studies often show that the reason the person participated in a certain activity was out of a need to belong. God created us to be attached to other people. When there there is a void of belonging, we look for those in our environment who make themselves available to us. Middle Schoolers are on the lookout for people who will show up for them. They want to know who cares enough to go out of their way for them. We can be those people in their lives. Investing in the next generation is an investment we will never regret!
“Seeing the people, He (Jesus) felt compassion for them, because they were distressed and dispirited like sheep without a shepherd.” (Matthew 9:36)
emissions of faith 